Outside Line: How do you polish a turd? OMO, Persil, Skip or Wonder Wash Max? Ask F1 Academy

This week it was trumpeted: F1 Academy and Dirt Is Good have today announced a new multi-year partnership, with the world’s largest laundry brand becoming the first-ever Official Laundry Detergent Partner of the series.

Dirt Is Good, which includes key brands such as OMO, Persil and Skip, will debut at Round 2 of the 2026 F1 Academy season at the Canadian Grand Prix in Montreal, Canada. Showcasing performance, progression and resilience, this collaboration also includes a flagship activation at Round 4 during the Dutch Grand Prix at Zandvoort.

In the pecking order of global motorsport, the female wannabe racers, aka F1 Academy, are one rung up from karting, entry-level single-seaters low-powered so the cockpit occupants do not hurt themselves.

I have decried the relevance of this series, only to be told officially that their goal is to entice female fans to motorsport, not target a seat on the Formula 1 grid.

That was a refreshing revelation, but why F1 Academy then? It's a misnomer. The real Formula 1 academies are Formula 2, Formula 3 and Formula 4. I have also written before that I could pick 16 female drivers from around the globe infinitely more deserving, on merit, to drive those cars.

Max Verstappen and others have publicly questioned whether the relatively slow Formula 4 cars adequately prepare drivers for the jump to Formula Regional, Formula 3 and Formula 2.

"Team bosses don't look at whether someone is a boy or a girl. It's about how fast they are. It's nice and nice that girls are now sponsored by Formula 1 teams, but what do we actually help them with? There is no next step for them now," explained the four time Formula 1 World Champion.

Furthermore, I predict none of the ladies on the current F1 Academy grid would qualify in the top 10 of a Formula Regional race. And even if they did, rather than being fleeting eye-candy to fulfil an orchestrated narrative, how many will win or be champions in a unisex playing field? Then actually make their long-term careers that of a racing driver in any major category?

You know your answer. I know mine. Nevertheless, with Formula 1's marketing might firmly behind it, while all but ignoring Formula 2 and Formula 3 on Grand Prix weekends, one is sold the idea that F1 Academy is a special project. But I ask, is it not simply a woke effort to be politically correct by Liberty Media?

Either way, the Unilever Detergent Department is pitched this 'noble' concept and buys into it. The slogan is the baffling catchphrase: Dirt is good. Depending on what dirt you are talking about. The dirt F1 Academy contestants spend far too much time in during their sessions. Not so good.

However, the good thing is they have numerous options to polish the turd. They trumpet proudly in their press release, apart from OMO, Persil and Skip: "The partnership will spotlight the new Wonder Wash – Unilever's most successful innovation of the decade: Wonder Wash Max." Max who? Sneaky.

To anoint the occasion, series chief Susie Wolff weighed in with these pearls of wisdom: "The momentum behind F1 Academy has never been stronger, and the standard on track keeps rising." This is a platform where drivers are learning to perform under pressure.

"Supported by the best teams and the right partners around them. Bringing Dirt Is Good into that environment is an exciting step as we continue to create meaningful opportunities and visibility for the next generation of talent," added the wife of Mercedes boss Toto Wolff.

Seriously! Spin doctors out there, what does this mean? "We continue to create meaningful opportunities and visibility for the next generation of talent." 

Who writes these PR word salads that bosses and elites spew in all walks of life? What momentum? The never-ending momentum on all media platforms that calls the series out for what it is: bullshit.

Furthermore, how has the standard of the cockpit occupants been rising? Receipts, please! And what opportunities or talents? Modelling? TikToking? Selfie-sticking? Influencing? Or racing?

So what are Unilever getting out of this for their brands? Exposure, lots of it unwarranted by the level of the series but ramped up substantially by Formula 1 to keep a politically correct, albeit irrelevant, project going, with massive resources (relative to F2 and F3) afforded it.

In my view, sadly many of the current F1 Academy drivers, some with priceless F1 team backing, would struggle to earn equivalent seats purely on competitive results and merit.

Without doubt, a female series is warranted, but for real race drivers who have worked hard over years, if not decades, to be a force in a world dominated by men. On merit, no special sexist favours. Unfortunately, it appears the narrative often tends to prioritise marketability and profile over racing credentials.

As I wrote earlier, put 16 real race drivers in those cars, the cream of female drivers, and GRANDPRIX247 will be on board 110%. But this F1 Academy FOM-slop is so ridiculous that it is funny and warrants this post for the record.

That they snared Unilever is a testament to the power they have through their commercial portals. I only wish they would spend the money trumpeting true talent in Formula 2 and Formula 3. Promoting the next generation of Formula 1, WEC and the like. Not wannabes, but the real deals that are all but ignored by FOM's potent marketing arm.

Instead, in their misguided Quixotic quest to polish the turd that is the current F1 Academy, they can experiment with OMO, Persil and Skip. If that triumvirate fail, they can go all out with Wonder Wash Max. BTW, I use ARIEL.

And finally, to all F1 Academy contestants: be safe out there in Montreal.

Note: Outside Line reports such as this one are the personal opinions of Paul Vealsco on the Formula 1 narrative. Malice is never intended; it's simply analysing the truth and facts irrespective of feelings and agendas and interpreting them. Always very open to correction and/or enlightenment.