Parc Ferme: No “F” in good

No doubt FOM’s concern was for their F1 for toddlers TV feed having more bleeps than words. Either way, I guess they decided this was a job for the FIA and someone had to get in there and windmill.

And windmill that someone did, possibly a little too enthusiastically. Unfortunately, the “language ball” was returned with top spin. The chosen rationale leaving them open to unfair interpretations over their own choice of nouns and adjectives.

The situation at the Singapore Grand Prix was then amplified by Max Verstappen using an expletive in the official Press Conference. Based on the FIA’s earlier reaction, one could have expected an FIA thunderbolt delivered from the heavens, leaving only his smoking race boots in his place.

Instead, he was awarded some vague public service penalty. Probably forty-eight hours of feeding the homeless in Monaco… The sentence hardly matched the professed crime.

However, Max known for his sensitivity, responded just as you would expect. Being deprived of expressing himself naturally may lead him to abandon F1 early. “Early” of course is a relative term. In summary, no ***** given.

In true comedic entertainment style, everyone managed to take umbrage from the FIA’s position. However, in today's politically correct world, they have a justifiable point.

While some may accept bad language, not everyone does. This begs the question of where’s the inclusion of the harmed parties? The reality of course is that being offended by someone's words is a choice.

The next talking point centered around McLaren’s quantum rear wing. Apparently, it has a little design feature that appears to exist in two states at the same time: Legal and illegal.

A bit like the magic brake, something that had to be outlawed mid-season, despite not existing. This led to Ferrari’s Fred Vasseur being suitably confused. Quite rightly he stated that: if he had a wing that gave an advantage and was legal, he’d use it. If it was illegal, he wouldn’t. Seems to make sense to everyone apart from the FIA and McLaren.

I presume all this bunkum was to underwrite a potentially media dull as dishwater Grand Prix. However, FOM seem very happy to assign the FIA to take point in the minefield of their required entertainment narrative. This is unfair both on the organization and its people; especially, one which has more interest in promoting motor racing as a whole rather than just F1.

Unfortunately, it is only ostensibly in control of the playground. To get back the reins, it needs to take more defined positions. For many years FIA was translated by the anti-Tifosi into Ferrari International Assistance. They are in now in danger of another pseudo revision: Federation Internationale Ambiguity.

Finally, we then had much discussion and TV airtime devoted to the exit of a very nice but ultimately, mediocre F1 race driver.

Long past his sell-by date he underlined the point by once again being mugged by his teammate in qualifying and the race. A teammate who will likely also get cooked by the team's heir apparent.

Despite this, he was duly voted driver of the day. A travesty based on what Max delivered to get the beauty, now turned beast of an RB20, to the second step of the podium.

The whole thing was theatrically signed off by the bromance story of Daniel Ricciardo’s heroic fastest last lap to help his old mate cling on to his World Championship crown.

Ahh went the crowd....