Parc Ferme: Bonfire of Vanities

The Lusail circuit looked resplendent under the lights and its unique desert properties helped to produce one of the best Sprint Races to date.

However, for some, it only served to amplify the angst and frustration that had been building since the summer break.

In the Sprint Race, the much-maligned Sergio Perez worked in unison with Esteban Ocon to make a Nico Hulkenberg sandwich; the results of which saw Perez and Ocon beached in the kitty litter, and a bewildered Hulk limp back to the pits.

Meanwhile, the besieged Mexican drew the marshals' attention to what looked like a small fire in the RB19’s engine bay.

I can only imagine the screams of “Nooooo” from the mechanics in the Red Bull pit box as they enthusiastically filled every available orifice of the car with copious amounts of retardant.

To underline the Good Doctor’s prognosis for his 2024 seat, Checo then followed up his Sprint race performance by collecting multiple time penalties in the main race. Not a lot left to burn.

The Sprint Race also delivered the first proper played for and won F1 victory for McLaren in many a year. However, it was not at the hands of the team's ostensive number 1 driver.

Instead, it was their mercurial noob and young cock sparrow, Oscar Piastri, who parked it on pole and then converted it into a win. Lando Norris was quick to congratulate the young Italian-rooted Aussie, but it was clear it hurt.

This was meant to be served up by him, and the rookie had rained on his parade. He repeated the process again in the Qatar Grand Prix albeit, finishing second to Norris’s third. Ouch, another ego tossed into the fire.

Lewis Hamilton should have known better. Pulling the same stunt on George Russell at the first corner as Max Verstappen did on him at Woodcote in 2021 – coming off the brakes early to position himself ahead at the apex. It didn’t work then and didn’t work in Qatar.

Hamilton ended up in the kitty litter, blaming it all on his teammate; much like a bull in a China shop looking around and saying, “Who did this?”

Russell then gave the vocal equivalent of a bottom lip tremble, apologizing to the team for the incident and any other maladies affecting the team.

However, terse words from the pits telling him to cowboy up seemed to get him back in the war. He then went on to deliver an excellent drive to regain his lost positions, preserving the team’s pride from the fire.

Meanwhile, Hamilton fell on his sword (or was he pushed?) and rightly, took full responsibility for the Turn 1 incident. Whoosh, another one is up in flames.

Altering a circuit because your tyres can’t hack it is not the kind of messaging Pirelli wants. Especially when your market is primarily for premium, high-performance road cars.

While it was not necessarily their fault, the big picture was not a good look. For me, the real blame lies with the “tyre tinkering” that’s been demanded of them to manufacture entertainment.

Unfortunately for Pirelli, this was all lost in the narrative.

There’s nothing combustible left of Lance Stroll’s vanity as it is already a small pile of charcoal. However, the rumor that Stroll Senior has decided to sell AMR if true, is disturbing.

Initially, I was skeptical when Lawrence Stroll first entered the fray, but these days, I have nothing but admiration for the man. The way he has turned around the manufacturer and F1 team deserves recognition.

Let Junior go to WEC, but Lawrence, please stay. You are the genuine F1 article: an old-school team owner who understands the game.