Parc Ferme: F1’s Letters to Santa, Highlights

Parc Ferme managed to intercept some of the requests sent to Santa on their way to the North Pole.

Caro Babbo Natale, we did it; we defied the odds and beat Red Bull, Grazie. All I and the team wish for is some knuckle-padded mechanic gloves. We’re expecting more wins next year, and, well, you know what that means… more Zak fist-bumping celebrations. We don’t want to discourage him; he’s such a good motivator… It’s just we need to avoid the unnecessary early onset of arthritis in our hands.

Chère Père Noël, thank you for sending us the special one for 2025. However, I have one more tiny request: an effective race strategy. I fear the only person who seemed to have one has gone to a competitor, and it wasn’t even his job! Merci Bien.

PS: One more thing - Can you arrange for Charles to be a little less, how you say, “Monaco-esque” over the radio? Encore Merci Bien.

Dear Santa, you know what I want, what I really, really want: A compliant number two for Max. You know, the kind that brings in the points, is comfortable on the second step of the podium and won’t suddenly think they can actually win the World Championship. I’ll swap you, Sergio, for one of them. Thanks, zig a zig, ahh.

Dear Father Christmas, can you send us some coal for the fire? It’s freezing in the factory. We had to turn off the heating because we’d spent our budget on crash repairs. Thank you for the gift of Colapinto; however, you could have sent him earlier, like just before we signed Sainz.

PS: Swap you a pile of damaged components for extra coal; you can use them as gifts for F1 fans.

Beste Kerstman, can you please make sure Lewis’s Ferrari is quick next year. I need someone to race with, you know, somebody who can send it up the inside, a driver who doesn’t jump out the way if I say boo! I’ll also take another World Championship. Bedankt.

PS: Please make George’s wheels square and tell Lando I’ll be his friend as long as he knows his place… watching my rear wing.

Querido Papá Noel, sorry for making Alex look a bit average, but where’s my bloody drive for next season? Apart from a couple of little mistakes, I brought in points. When I said I wanted to be in F1, I didn’t mean as a reserve driver watching Albon get cooked by someone else as a reserve driver for a reserve team. Come on big man, give it up! Saludos.

Caro Babbo Natale, I know you're not known for giving out cash, but could you make an exception this year? We have already received gifts from the Orient, but if we continue, we may have to change our name to Camel F1 in 2026. Whilst that might be fitting for our 2024 effort, we have big plans, and it doesn’t quite have the same ring(s)… Ciao.

All letters were re-sealed and sent onward to the jolly chubby guy (Santa not Zak). There were others in the various mail sacks, but that’s enough for 2025. As it is the season of goodwill to all men, Parc Ferme will now be hanging up its quill until 2026. Meanwhile, it wishes everyone involved in or following F1 a penalty-free New Year.