Parc Ferme: Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve

To say the wheels fell off the script would be an understatement. A thrilling “Will he won’t he” run into the end of the season has been answered.

Like a dropped Netflix series, the main storyline was tied up prematurely as the weather and the Dutch F1 world champion put paid to Lando Norris's title aspirations.

Apart from an alarm clock going off and it all turning out to be a dream, there seems to be no way back for an Abu Dhabi cliffhanger. The only thing left now is the subplot of the F1 constructor’s title… yawn.

The two biggest disappointments of the weekend were probably Lewis Hamilton and Oscar Piastri. Hamilton’s only achievement was delivering a credible impression of Sergio Perez as he again struggled to bend his W15 to his will. To further highlight the point, his teammate, George Russell, emulated Verstappen, looking like a potential race winner in the same car.

Success can be ephemeral in F1; Lewis harnessed it for many years, but the confidence that fuels it seems to have left. We can only hope he finds it again at Ferrari! There’s nothing sadder than a fading F1 world champion who dines out on past glories. The fare is beginning to look a little bland these days.

Piastri also appeared to have peaked early. After putting in a dominant performance in the sprint, we were entitled to expect something more in the main race. I guess having to hand an undeserved win to your teammate puts a crimp on your mindset.

Even if you are taking it for the team, when you’re faced with a "lead, concede, repeat" scenario, motivation can drop off. Now that reality has firmly bitten for Norris’ F1 driver title aspiration, maybe McLaren will unleash them both, and we will get to see once and for all who is the “Daddy Mac”.

Meanwhile, Alpine was making hay while the clouds rained. The all-French team from Enstone suffered from altitude sickness all weekend, courtesy of Esteban Ocon.

The new leadership of Ollie Oakes (not French) and Flavio Briatore (also not French) seem to be working. Consequently, they found themselves leading the Sao Paulo Grand Prix courtesy of Ocon, with a real chance for a win.

Instead, they settled for a surefire second and third as Pierre Gasly got in on the act. Let’s hope there are no post-race Parc Ferme issues this time around…

I would wax lyrical about Max Verstappen’s legendary performance and victory, but other parties have done that enough.

However, I will make two comments: First, his sheer bloody-mindedness that got him into problems in Mexico, paid dividends at a sodden Interlagos.

Second, even Mrs. Parc Ferme was moved to acknowledge his superlative drive. An ardent Lewis Hamilton fan, she usually wears her “I hate Max” T-shirt loud and proud.

However, as a mark of respect, it was already washed, folded and made ready for Las Vegas before the presentation ceremony in Brazil. Simply lovely…