In a leaked memo from a FOM™ insider, GrandPrix247.com has gained access to a soon to be announced FORMULA ONE™ social media initiative which is likely to have widespread impact on how die-hard F1 FANS™ engage with THE SPORT™ while impacting how F1 TEAMS™ and F1 PUBLISHERS™ supply information to enthusiasts in the future.
In response to mass fan protest over their tyrannical methods of blog take downs, Twitter account bans, Facebook account shutdowns and internet censorship, FOM™ plans to announce a new partnership with social media giants Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram.
In the announcement, leaked to this website, which is set to be issued in the coming days to the press by FOM ™ it states:
“We would like to reach out to the FORMULA ONE COMMUNITY™ and provide a suitable platform for FORMULA ONE FANS™ to discuss, tweet and post F1 RELATED MATERIAL™. We have therefore created F1book™, F1witter™, LinkedF1™ and F1gram™ to cover all of your social media needs. It will be closely monitored by FOM ™ to ensure content quality. In agreement with Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram, any current FORMULA ONE FANS™ will be automatically ported and integrated into the new services.”
All other websites or forums will be banned from using F1 related material™, under the direction of FOM™. These restrictions will apply to any words and/or logos used to identify the brand such as: F1™, FORMULA 1™, FIA FORMULA ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP™, FORMULA ONE PADDOCK CLUB™, FORMULA ONE™, FIA FORMULA ONE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP™, F1 TOILET™, FORMULA ONE PADDOCK CLUB™, PADDOCK CLUB™, GRAND PRIX™ and OFFICIAL FORMULA ONE RESTROOM™
F1 SUPREMO™ BERNIE ECCLESTONE™ is on record saying: “I’m not interested in tweeting, Facebook and whatever this nonsense is. I’m too old-fashioned. I couldn’t see any value in it. And, I don’t know what the so-called young generation of today really wants. What is it?”
Nevertheless with a replacement for ECCLESTONE™ as F1 BIG BOSS™ now high on the F1 AGENDA™, there is a movement within THE SPORT™ to reach out to new media and this inititiave, as controversial as it may become, is the first step in trying to reach a middle ground.
Social media expert, Mark Diggitt, analysed this latest development, “FOM™ have relentlessly protected the various F1 RELATED™ trademarks but many perceive the tactics as BULLYING™ which is an image that the organisation now (inexplicably) wants to change. They have some HEAVY HITTERS™ on their LEGAL TEAM™ and the big social media companies do not want to go to war over this. Hence they easyily capitulate to F1™ demands at the expense of the little guys.”
Diggitt added, “It is clear that FOM™ do not intend to back down on their PETTY BATTLES™ with Tweeters, Facebookers and small website publishers but would rather be perceived to be doing good and perhaps even earning brownie points with this move. But sadly I think that behind the move is a clear strategy to consolidate and control F1 SOCIAL MEDIA™.”
Meanwhile a FOM™ insider revealed, “I believe this is the BEST FORMULA ONE NEWS EVER™. FORMULA ONE FANS™ having been robbing THE SPORT™ for many years now with all of these FORMULA ONE REFERENCES™ in blog posts, tweets and likes.”
“We intend to register many more F1™ related words such as: FORMULA EIN™, FORMULA UM™, FORMULA UNAS™, FORMULA UNO™, EFF1™ and EFONE™, as well as EFOFF™ for good measure. We want to control OUR BRAND™, along with each and every potential spin-off thereof.”
“We will also aggressively lobby all computer hardware and peripherals makers to desist from using the F1™ key on all keyboards made after 2016.”
“Led by BERNIE™ we built the F1 BRAND™, we OWN™ it, we intend to make the most of it and not have some dude tweeting in his slippers, from some place in Outer Mongolia, making money from our stuff. This is OUR MONEY!™ and nobody else is entitled to it,” added the FOM PERSON™.
It is believed that the new F1 SOCIAL PLATFORMS™ will commence before the SPANISH GRAND PRIX™ and all F1 FANS™ who use social media will be systematically integrated into the new bespoke portals with an option to opt out and return to the traditional social media interfaces.
As for websites belonging to F1 TEAMS™ and those reporting on F1™, the use of any of the above mentioned F1™ ‘owned’ words or phrases on websites will be forbidden unless a fee is paid to FOM™, who are in the process of devising a fee structure based on website traffic. THE FEES™ will be circulated to web publishers in due course. Failure to comply will result in FOM™ squeezing web hosting companies to shut down websites who defy the directive and do not pay THE FEES™.
As a precaution GrandPrix247 website has now officially become EFWUN.com – which we are in the process of registering as our own trademark – in case FOM™ come calling and demanding that THEY OWN™ GrandPrix247.
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Note:This story was written in the spirit of April Fools and not an ounce of it is true. Thanks!