Mysterious source reveals agenda for next F1 Strategy Group meeting

Some of the Formula 1 big boys

Some of the Formula 1 big boys

Quotes by Autsoport that have been attributed to an unnamed and mysterious high level source claiming that on the table for Formula 1′s next Strategy Group meeting are proposals for the sport to adapt USA style bespoke racing numbers for drivers and the introduction of an ‘FIA Pole Man of the Year in F1′.

GP247 unearthed this very source. The person who, as with our colleagues, requested anonymity, explained that many issues that are tabled for discussions at such meetings are not heard. Therefore it is common practice to create red herrings in an effort to squash or undermine certain issues that may arise.

The source also added,”Many publications at this time of the year are devoid of news. So they themselves publish reports that serve their own interests and these stories which they ‘discover’ keep the readers coming back. This is important for their Google Ads revenue – when in effect not much is going on in the F1 world as everyone is focused on developing their 2014 cars in total secrecy. Drivers, of course, are ‘off the radar’ too.”

Formula One World Championship, Rd18, Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, Race, Yas Marina Circuit, Abu Dhabi, UAE, Sunday 4 November 2012.

Although at first reluctant to provide more information, when pressed for other interesting matters that have been put on the agenda for discussion during the meeting of the Strategy Group, the source revealed:

  • One championship point to be awarded for pole position – proposed by Red Bull;
  • Once on the grid drivers can get out of their cars but may not hop over the pitwall to urinate.
  • One driver-one helmet, thus no more special edition helmets or race-by-race helmets as used by Sebastian Vettel – proposed by teams who were confused about who exactly was driving their car;
  • More VIP guest passes for Bernie Ecclestone and FIA delegates – proposed by FIA and FOM senior officials;
  • Journalists and photographers to pay for privilege of covering F1 – unknown proposer;
  • Drivers to be penalised if they scold their race engineers as Lewis Hamilton and Kimi Raikkonen have done in such high profile manners – proposed by the F1 Engineers Association;
  • Only Bernie Ecclestone and Jean Todt allowed to shake hands with drivers on the grid- proposed by FIA and FOM senior officials;
  • No umbrellas on the grid because they block signage and branding – F1 Sponsors Association;
  • Red Bull to be official drink which is sprayed on the podium instead of champagne – proposed by Red Bull;
  • Designers with more than four World Championships to their credit to be forced to resign and go design yachts – proposed by Ferrari, Mercedes, Lotus, McLaren and Caterham;
  • Water the track when race gets boring – same old proposal by the same old guy;
  • Okay that’s enough…

In the end the source – who will remain annonymous and who provided the above juicy bits – was asked by us to shut up as the list got longer and longer. The source commented that “this is how it works in these groups” – lots of fluff, but very little substance.

The source added, “Strategy Group decisions still have to be ratified by the self serving Formula 1 Commission and our own, cumbersome World Motor Sport Council, therefore few if any decisions see the light of day. I go along because we fly business class, the food is good and we get to stay in a nice hotel.” (GP247)

Subbed by AJN.

  • pauk

    What will happen to you after this article?
    A funny read but I don’t think some teams and officials can see the humour.
    Keep the articles coming guys.

  • Pradeep

    Really Funny !!!

    - Red Bull to be official drink which is sprayed on the podium instead of champagne – proposed by Red Bull;
    - Designers with more than four World Championships in a row to their credit to be forced to resign and go design yachts – proposed by Ferrari, Mercedes, Lotus, McLaren and Caterham.

    Its Thanks giving, not April 1st !!! :)

  • Spartacus

    And so I sign off on GP247 until next year.

  • Saša

    How about driver who win race, on next one must do only one timed lap in Q1 and that time will count as his final.

    They did it to Ferrari once, when Michael was driving.

    Why not again.

    I also agree on 1 point for pole position.
    And I would add 1 point to best lap in race, but lap that was did before last 5 laps.

  • Robin ducker

    Ha ha, it had me going for 10 seconds. The bit about spraying RBI and not Moët was the killer.

  • brent

    How about the race start in reverse order so pole will be last and last will be pole. never thought of that did ya

  • Garth

    @ Brent
    What a super Idea, Qualifying will then take about a week as they will all be driving just above stall speed to make sure they are last, We have got Chilton doing that already. Did you take something.

  • gilgen

    What is amazing is that some other sites took these suggestions seriously!